I never considered myself a poet.
Any time I had to write poetry for classes in school, it didn’t come naturally to me. When I thrived writing stories and creating worlds, poetry was always difficult. Add in the fact that these poems were being seen by a teacher and graded, and any kind of enthusiasm I had flew out the window.
I still wrote poetry here and there.
When I was in university, a friend of mine gave me some poems to read, and I felt inspired. I started writing my own poems. Though they were clumsy, I liked writing them. I filed them away on my computer, with no intention of anyone seeing them ever. I didn’t think they were “good” poems.
Everything turned around for me in 2016 when I read Amanda Lovelace’s poetry for the first time.
Back then, Lovelace had a Tumblr account I followed, blogging about books and TV shows I also liked. One day, she dropped a self-published poetry collection called The Princess Saves Herself In This One. She posted excerpts on her blog and instagram, and I immediately became hooked. This poetry was different from what I’d learned in school. It was raw emotion, it was lawless, it was everything I never knew I needed. As I began to read other poets she’d been posting about, I fell deeper and deeper in love with poetry.
I began to write my own shortly thereafter. The past year had been a learning experience for me, and reading poetry inspired me to write about it. Pretty soon, I had enough poems to make up a collection, and I hastily uploaded it to Smashwords and released it to the world in February of 2017. It was called Poems Worth Saving after a folder on my computer, which I had created to to distinguish the “meh” poems from the ones I truly loved.
It wasn’t the right time for it to be released.
I was too shy to really market it well, not wanting to broadcast it to family or friends. I posted a link to my Tumblr, and did some minimal promotion on YouTube, but that was about it. I think I sold 4 or 5 copies in total. I just wasn’t prepared to truly let it go. In the end, I unpublished it on Smashwords for several years, with the idea I would eventually edit and refine it, and give it the proper release it deserved.
Years went by. I kept writing poems and saving them to the “poems worth saving” folder, but I hadn’t dared to open that old file with the original collection inside. Finally, this past spring, I finally took a look.
I ended up cutting out most of the poems from the original collection. I added some older ones I’d deemed “bad” before I really understood the value of my words. I wrote new ones, too. I finally had enough distance between the me I was now, and the me I was then to truly create a collection “worth saving.”
And finally, here it is. These poems have changed so much through the years, but I love the way this collection has shaped up to be. It’s all about home, friendships, relationships, and growing into the person you want to be. When I first began writing this collection, I viewed the poems as a sort of diary. Over time, they transformed and lived their own lives separated from me. As I say in the first page of Poems Worth Saving:
I intend to fill this world
with all that I am
and have never been.
I hope you all enjoy reading it.
Poems Worth Saving will be released January 7, 2020, and is currently available to pre-order through most ebook retailers here.